Thursday, July 28, 2011

Confucius Movie Advice

"Before you embark on watching Revenge Of The Nerds, be sure to watch Cradle 2 the Grave."

Friday, July 22, 2011

Imagine How Scared And Amazed My Friends Will Be?

If this thing really does obey my commands, forget about what my friends will think, imagine how f***ing scared my enemies will be. They will rue the day they crossed me. In 6 to 8 weeks, you'll ALL be sorry. Everyone will flee in terror when they see me coming with a 7 foot tall alien-eye creature at my side. In fact who even needs friends anymore? Even they will be sorry they ever met me.

And it has a satisfaction guarantee, so if it doesn't work out like that, I will get my money back. I will get ALL of it back!

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Check Out My New Tattoo

It means "logographic Chinese characters".

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

A Namor Comic For Babies

Art by Jack (King) Kirby

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows SPOILERS

The last of the Harry Potter movies came out this weekend and if you've read the books, then you already know the wtory. But in case you didn't and you are wanting to find out what happens, here are the 8 biggest SPOILERS in The Deathly Hallows part 2:

1. Susandorf gets eaten by a Hiffelboff.
2. Harry finally sqibs bucklebeaks with Bagley the Hufflepuff.
3. Hagrid and Stanley Floffyflibble both become Muggleboffs.
4. The house of Hagindop has hoggelbops hidden in the floppindiles.
5. Harry's mippenflob turns Dobble into a flying gibbendonk.
6. Pimbledor the Donkel Donk is actually Serious Black in disguise.
7. Goobleplaps!!!
8. These movies are retarded.

Friday, July 8, 2011

My Favorite Lines From Peep Show

He really seems to be sincerely hoping that the Russians love their children too. Which I think is a little bit patronizing.

Sure an orgy sounds great, but you’re basically just multiplying the number of people you’re not going to be able to look in the eye afterwards.

Who needs to be a man when you’ve got a knife?

I suppose doing things you hate is just the price you pay to avoid loneliness.

The Beastie Boys fought and possibly died for my right to party.

He used to call me a flod. I think it’s a mix between a flid and a spod.

War is never a picnic… although obviously soldiers do end up eating outdoors quite a lot.

It’s not a no brainer! I have to think about it… it’s a brainer, a real brainer.

I don’t want to test fate, but I think everything is going to be great forever.

I always wanted to see a birth. It would be kind of like Alien but sexy. Sexy Alien.

Stalking is a very loaded term. I like to think of it as extreme liking.