Life of Pi

Santigold Salt Lake City May 28, 2012

I finally found the cord which allowed me to take this picture and video off my camera. But 6 months ago, that was a great concert.

Dinosaur Train: Nature vs Nurture

It was always going to end this way...

It was always just a matter of time.

I Don't Think I Am Perfect Or Better Than Anyone...

 but I do have a rare abdominal condition that makes it so my bowel movements are odorless.

Still Trying To Decide What To Be For Halloween...

A fat spider-man, a fat ninja, a fat vampire, or a skeleton with lots of black around it.

Election 2012

Although I agree with Brunette Barbie's foreign policy, and I think Blonde Barbie has the experience and know-how to save the economy, I am going to follow my heart this election and cast my vote for Sexy Witch Barbie.

I Have A New Secret Knock

It's called "Shave And A Haircut... $12 For The Haircut, But We Don't Offer Shaves Here At Supercuts"

Pillow Fights

There are so many different kinds of pillow fights.

Little kid pillow fights, grown men pillow fights, married couple pillow fights...
Father and son pillow fights, doll pillow fights, Beatles pillow fights...
Outdoor pillow fights, in the snow pillow fights, three young models in their underwear pillow fights... So so many different kinds.

And I know which one is my favorite!

Sudden Death

I just saw an ad for a medication that listed "sudden death" as one of the possible side effects. Now I am willing to accept some risks if the medication works, but there is NO WAY I can handle that much pressure to make a basket.

The First Lines Of A New Book I Am Writing...

She had a smile that was contagious. Even more contagious than Chlamydia. Which she also had.  

No Facebook For Old Men

I just got a friendo request on Facebook...

  Not Now. And hopefully not ever!

The Speed Walking Dead

TV Man

It's art.

Matt Page: Not Some Random Fat dude

A true story from my niece's FB page...

I wasn't offended by her friend's comment, because I didn't think she was referring to me when she said "ewe". But I was a little bothered by my niece's assumption that "ewe" was not only a reaction to me, but that it had something to do with me being a "random fat dude".

Revenge Of The Feminists

"Let's make a video that tears down stereo types and shows the many faces of feminism."

"Sounds good. Hey, do you think we can get Booger to be in it?"

One Wheel, One Love: Thoughts From A Unicycle Artist

I find the term "unicyclist" kind of demeaning. I personally prefer the term unicycle artist. You see it's the job of an artist to challenge societal conventions...conventions such as those that say bicycles should have two wheels.

Yes riding a unicycle is difficult. I suppose it would be much easier for me if I just sat back and never rode a unicycle a day in my life. That's true.

The leaders of this world only care about one thing: protecting their own asses. And power. And war. And conforming.

Well I too only have one thing I care about... you thought I was going to say unicycling, didn't you? Well you are wrong. The one thing I care about is love and peace and questioning things.

Riding my unicycle is just my vehicle for delivering that message.

Open your eyes human race! Put down your guns and your wallets for one minute and just open your eyes! And check out this trick I can do on my unicycle!

Sometimes people ask me how I can do so many amazing things on a unicycle. My reply: How can I not???

How can I NOT???

That's a rhetorical question. Don't answer it, just think about it.

The Movie Is Never As Good As The Book

But the book is never as good as the MAD Magazine parody of the movie.

Formats

New Order / Technique

Spider-Man Goes Way Too Far

Look, I love when Spider-Man and the Human Torch go back and forth with their playful banter and teasing, but in Marvel Team-Up 147, Spider-Man went WAY too far. Especially since both Johnny and Sue have always been such good friends to him... And yeah, it's taken out of context, but try to think of a context where that would be an okay thing to say. And no, he wasn't out of his mind or being controlled by an evil villain or anything like that - and even if he had been, not even Dr Doom would ever say anything that horrible.

Seriously, what an asshole!

Bear And I

Last month when I was working as a mascot at the Outdoor Retail Expo, I met Bear Grylls - and I got my picture taken with him as proof...

First Aid Kit

Two screenshots from the video for "Ghost" by the band First Aid Kit.

Variations On A Theme

With Great Snowfall Comes Great Responsibility

It finally snowed in North Salt Lake.

Good Day

So my Axl Rose Hungry Time Traveler project has gotten some buzz from Spin Magazine. I am so proud.