I'll be Homely For Christmas

You can count on me.

What Do You Get Someone Who Already Has Everything?

I'm Not Racist

Some of my best friends are offensive racial stereotypes.

Pair O' Docks

I know I wouldn't be able to kill Hilter (because that would of course create a paradox that would unravel the fabric of time), but if I had a time machine, I would at least go back and put his hand in water when he's sleeping.