The Doctors

This show is the perfect combination of Time Lord, gangsta rap, carbonation, and evil genius.

Ten Years

Aaliyah Dana Haughton January 16, 1979 – August 25, 2001

Reed Richards: Sometimes Kind Of A Dick To His Wife

Art by Jack Kirby, Script by Stan Lee

Matsby: Morning Lover

Ten Years

Last weekend my wife and I celebrated our 10 year wedding anniversary. That's right, TEN years. And as I am sure your wife has told you, that is one of the monumental anniversaries - the kind you celebrate with a grand vacation to some romantic and beautiful place. Like maybe somewhere in the desert that is a short drive from your house. So we went to Moab and had a wonderful time.

While there, we went to Arches National Park, where we saw some rock formations that kind of made me uncomfortable...

LEFT TO RIGHT: "Penis Mountain", "Giant Wang Point", "Old Man's Dong", "Weird Dick Tower", and "Twin Cocks Monument".

It's formations like that that brought me to the conclusion that Arches is the most perverted of all the National Parks (although Huge Vagina Canyon is definitely a close second).

Oh look, here's another picture of us at the park with Delicate Arch in the background...

It was beautiful but after a while the exhaust started to make us a little dizzy, so we decided to leave the park and go horseback riding.

An interesting thing I learned when I was trying to make horseback reservations was that some ranches have a weight limit of 220 pounds. And if you know me, you know that I am what the ladies like to call a "big lover" and the doctors like to call "heart attack risk", so I was a little disappointed. But then we finally found a place called The Fatty Coral that could accommodate a man of my size...

You recognize that background? Yep, that is where that movie was filmed. It was gorgeous.

We also went to 9 Mile Canyon - which is apparently only a mile from where Eminem grew up, but we weren't there for that, we were there to check out the ancient Indian petroglyphs...

And the less ancient farmer petroglyphs...

Both of which we reported after we saw this sign...

But apparently they only were interested in non-cow vandalism that is less than 200 years old.

Anyway, more things happened on that trip, but I didn't take any more pictures that that. Don't worry you're not missing much. One night we stayed in a hotel in Price that smelled like a urinal cake, but that's not really noteworthy since everything in Price is reminiscent of a public restroom, so that's pretty much it. That's how we celebrated our anniversary. Pretty romantic huh?

The Pretty Little Gentlemen

A comic strip I used to do...

What Has Six Thumbs...

and keeps a gruesome souvenir from each of his victims?

This guy!

Girls With Phones

It's not a contest, ladies.

But if it was, I say Natalie Wood wins.

Girls With Guns

If you like girls with guns, you may also be interested in Girls With Big Cats.

Michael Caine: Kind Of Like Me

I like to think of myself as a younger, fatter, less attractive, less talented, less charming, less successful, less interesting, American version of Michael Caine.